Premiere Championship Wrestling
Presents:
PCW FEVER!!!
Venue: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators:
Justin Walker, Alyssa Graham, and Neil Coles
(Show
opens with highlights from the last show:
JW:
… tonight begins the history of PCW, and with that, we have four tournaments
beginning tonight!
AG:
…we have the first matches of the tournaments to decide the PCW World
Heavyweight Champion…
[Cut
to Prince Master-Diego David Tarquez match.]
JW:
Tarquez has Master set up for his finishing maneuver…and Taurus comes in and
clobbers him from behind!!
NC:
And the ref didn’t see it at all!!
JW:
TAURUS STUNNER!!! (Stunner done facing opponent) Taurus nailed DDT with his
move!!
(Taurus
rolls out the ring and the medieval man hops off the apron. The ref turns around to see Prince Master
covering DDT.)
JW:
Master with the cover…1…2…3!
AG:
What a way to win a match.
[Cut
to Taurus-Journeyman match.]
JW:
And Taurus is shocked! Journeyman now has him in a front chancre…DDT!!
NC:
No, he was out here earlier…
JW:
I meant the move, Neil…He calls it The End of the Road…he covers…1…2…and this
one is over!
--
JW:
CUBAN STINGER!! DIEGO TARQUEZ GOT HIM WITH THE CUBAN STINGER!!
--
AG:
…the Cruiserweight Champ…
[Cut
to Kenshiro Tanaka-Chris Lei match.]
NC:
What was that?!
AG:
He countered the move with one of his own!
NC:
How in the hell did he do that?!
JW:
Tanaka locks in a dragon sleeper!! He sits down with it! This may be all for Chris Lei! ….. Chris Lei
has tapped out!
--
AG: …World Tag Team Champions…
[Cut
to the OnnaTarashi’s entrance, then their match with the Southside Soldiers.]
JW:
Tama with an elbow on AK! And a
top-rope Frankensteiner by Kamui!
Tamahori into the ropes…here he comes…rolling somersault senton by
Tamahori!! Impressive!
AG:
The Beautiful End is what they call that move.
[…then
the after-match confrontation between the Velaquezes…]
Tamahori:
You don’t get it do you, Kisara? The guy you knew as Akira Velaquez, the
greatest damn cruiserweight there is, does NOT exist anymore! I am Tamahori now! I am now one-half of the
OnnaTarashi, the future Premiere Championship Wrestling Tag Team Champions of
the world!
(Tamahori
poses in the middle of the ring, receiving a huge face pop from the crowd.)
Kisara: Just business, huh? I gotcha, bro—I mean
Tamahori. I understand **real**
well.
(Kisara
smirks. Tamahori just looks at her.)
--
AG:
…and the Women’s champion…
[Cut
to the end of the Julie Hunter-La Tigresa match.]
NC:
That’s Vanderfeller!!
AG:
What’s she doing here?!
KV:
Look out, Julie!!
(Jennifer
comes up behind Julie and grabs her in a reverse facelock, then drops her in a
reverse DDT.)
JW:
Check Bouncer by Jennifer Vanderfeller!!
KV:
Dammit!!
(Kisara
gets up and grabs her chair. She slides
into the ring and swings at Vanderfeller, who ducks and gets out of the
ring. Kisara yells some choice words at
her as Jennifer makes her way backstage, pointing at Julie, saying something
that sounds like “She’s mine! The belt’s all mine!!”)
--
[the
end of the Eddie Michels-Da Big Guy match…]
NC:
Looks like DBG is gonna be in some extreme pain in a moment!
JW:
Michels has DBG back up…looks like he’s going for a ride…DBG reverses it…
(Michels
is whipped towards the table after the reversal by DBG. As soon as he turns away from the table,
Chris Lee Johnson’s other wrestler, The Beast spears him into the table!!)
JW: OH MY GOD!!!!
NC:
When did the Beast get out here?!
AG:
I don’t know but he just destroyed Eddie Michels’ plans!
--
[The
end of the show…]
(Kenshiro
Tanaka walks into the ring, kendo stick in hand.)
AG:
What’s Tanaka doing here?!
NC:
Maybe he wants Melissa too. I mean she
is a hottie.
AG:
Shut up, Neil.
JW: Tanaka sneaking behind the Rushes…
(Kenshiro
grabs Kerry’s shoulder, prompting Kerry to turn around. As he does, Tanaka nails him over the head
with the kendo stick. Melissa tries to
get away, but Tanaka nails Melissa as well!
The crowd begins to boo.)
JW:
HE HIT BOTH KERRY AND MELISSA WITH THAT KENDO STICK!!! THAT FIEND!!!
NC:
Damn, I like this kid!!
AG:
But he hit Melissa too!
NC:
So what?! He hit that pretty boy Kerry!!
JW:
And he’s still attacking them!!
(Tanaka continues his assault by hitting Melissa
once more on her leg…HARD, then repeatedly hitting Kerry with the kendo stick.)
(Shift
to outside the Rose Garden as a Mercedes Benz parks in a space in the parking
lot. Out of the driver’s side exits
Kerry Rush, in civilian clothes.)
JW: This scene’s from earlier today as Kerry and
Melissa Rush make their way to the arena.
AG:
Even thought Kerry’s not scheduled to wrestle tonight, he’s looking for revenge
after that brutal assault by Kenshiro Tanaka last time!
(Kerry
opens the passenger side of the car, letting Melissa out. She too is in normal clothes, but she also
has a cast around her foot. Kerry
reaches into the car and pulls out a pair of crutches and hands them to his
wife. He then shuts the door and walks
with Melissa to the arena. The scene
then shifts back into the arena, where the crowd of over 10,000 is cheering
wildly. Over at ringside, our three commentators sit at the broadcast table.)
NC:
Even when injured, she’s still a hottie!
JW:
What a sight indeed. Poor Melissa.
AG:
I hate to speak in a biased tone, but I really hope Kenshiro Tanaka gets what’s
coming to him.
JW:
We’ll see if that happens tonight here on PCW Fever in the Rose Garden in
Portland Oregon, home of the Portland Trail Blazers! We have an exciting card for you tonight, as we will find out who
will advance to the next round in the four tournaments that are currently going
on here in Premiere Championship Wrestling!
AG:
That’s right! Tonight we will find out who our last four quarterfinalists will
be in the World Title Tournament and the semifinalists for the Tag
Tournament. Along with that we also
have matches in the Cruiserweight and Women’s tournaments!
JW:
All this and a lot more on Fever! We saw a lot of surprises last time, and
we’ll see a lot more tonight!
NC:
I know one thing that’ll happen tonight that won’t be a surprise! And that is Kenshiro Tanaka kicking Kerry
Rush’s ass again! Ha!
JW: (shakes his head and sighs) Let’s go to the
ring for our first match.
(Snoop
Doggy Dogg’s “Tha Shiznit” starts up; mild face pop.)
Ring
Announcer: THE FIRST MATCH TONIGHT ON
FEVER IS A QUARTERFINAL MATCH IN THE PREMIERE CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING TAG TEAM
TOURNAMENT AND IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!! INTRODUCING FIRST, FROM TIAJUANA,
MEXICO… AT A TOTAL COMBINED WEIGHT OF 490 POUNDS, HERE ARE HAMMERHEAD AND
THRESHER, LOS TIBURONES!!!
(The
team of Los Tiburones makes their way to the ring, wearing black jeans, and
flannel shirts. Under those shirts are
wife-beater shirts with their logo on them.
They make a few hand signals to the crowd and enter the ring.)
NC:
I’m just waiting for them to say something stupid like “Arriba la raza!!” or
“Orale!!”
JW:
Nah, I doubt it.
AG: This team consists of veteran wrestler
Hammerhead and newcomer Thresher.
Thresher is a wrestler from the promotion that Hammerhead’s family owns. A talented wrestler, indeed.
(“Come
Out and Play” by the Offspring starts up; face pop.)
Ring
Announcer: AND THEIR OPPONENTS, FROM
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA… AT A TOTAL COMBINED WEIGHT OF 385 POUNDS… THE KID
AND TRIPLE X, THE TEAM OF THE NEW BREED!!!
(As
the heavy guitars start up in the song, the New Breed runs down the elevated
aisleway. Both are wearing baggy blue jeans and t-shirts. Triple X’s shirt is black while The Kid’s
shirt is red. They enter the ring and
hop onto a turnbuckle, looking out at the fans, who cheer.)
JW:
Probably the youngest tag team in PCW is this duo of the New Breed.
NC:
The smallest too, Justin. These two degenerates combined weigh less than some
of our heavyweights!
AG:
Well they may be young, but they’re not inexperienced. The Kid has been wrestling since he was 16!
NC:
I also heard that he used to live next door to a certain fossil in a promotion
down south that hails from Charlotte!
AG:
That’s just a rumor, Neil.
NC:
Yeah whatever.
DING,
DING, DING!!
JW:
And here we go with our first match of the night! Looks like it will be the Kid starting off again the rookie
Thresher.
AG:
Thresher clearly has the advantage as he weights almost 100 pounds more than
the Kid.
JW:
And Thresher shows his strength off early as he tosses the Kid over into a
corner of the ring like he was nothing!
Now he’s getting some hits in the corner…moving back…charges in and the
Kid nails him with a kick to the midsection!
Sunset flip by the Kid…and Thresher quickly gets out of it. Both men are back up again…tilt-a-whirl by
Thresher and Kid turns it into a flying headscissors! Impressive!
AG: The New Breed is probably the best in the
PCW when it comes into high-flying moves.
Expect them to use that to their advantage tonight!
JW:
And the Kid tags in Triple X… 2 on 1 here…Thresher going for a ride…and a
double clothesline by the New Breed!
(Fans
cheer as Kisara Velaquez…ahem…saunters down the aisle. She is wearing business
attire with a short mini skirt. She carries a chair in one hand and a clipboard
in another.)
JW:
And it seems that Kisara Velaquez has come to ringside.
NC:
Damn…I never knew Tamahori’s little sister was that hot!
AG:
Down, Neil.
(Kisara
unfolds the chair and sits down in it.
She then puts on a pair of glasses and watches the match. In the ring, Triple X suplexes Thresher.)
AG:
Looks like she’s taking notes.
NC:
For what?
JW:
I don’t know, but it might be due to what happened on last Fever between her
and her estranged brother! Anyway,
Hammerhead has been tagged in now for the Tiburones…whips Triple X into the
ropes…and a rolling clothesline by Hammerhead!
NC:
Orale!!
JW:
Oh hush, Neil. Hammerhead with a slam
now on Triple X…and he tags in Thresher again…going up top…Thresher coming down
with a kneedrop and no dice! Triple X
got of the way just in time! Triple X
into the ropes now…and he nails Thresher with a dropkick…he rolls out to the
outside to regroup.
AG:
I really don’t think he wants to be outside the ring now…
NC:
Why?
JW:
Suicide plancha by Triple X!!
AG:
That’s why.
JW:
Triple X has a headlock on Thresher…this could be a running bulldog… and
Thresher pushes him off the elevated aisle and into the guardrail!! That had to hurt!
NC:
That sure did. Triple X deserved it!
(The
Kid jumps into the ring and looks out at Thresher.)
JW:
The Kid in the ring now…there he goes…
(The
Kid does a cartwheel, the moonsaults OVER the top rope and onto Thresher. They land right in front of Kisara, who
looks up briefly, then writes something on the clipboard and adjusts her
glasses.)
JW:
What a move by the Kid!!
AG:
They don’t call him the human highlight reel for nothing!
NC:
The idiots almost crashed right into Kisara!
They could have hurt that sexy, sultry, drool-worthy—
AG:
Down, Neil.
JW:
And Hammerhead comes over and nails the Kid as he gets back up. Triple X is back in the ring now, and
Thresher makes his way back in as well…Triple X with a kick to the midsection…
and a running bulldog by Triple X on Thresher!
There’s a cover, and he gets a shoulder up!
(Kisara
looks up at the ring and adjusts her glasses, then goes back to writing.)
JW:
Both men are back up and a powerslam by Thresher! Hooks the leg and Triple X kicks out at two!
NC:
Thresher picked him up like he was nothing!
Wait a sec…he is nothing!
JW: Cut it out, Neil. Triple X into the ropes now… Thresher with a hiptoss…Triple X
with a body scissors…going for a victory roll…Thresher blocks and slams him on
the mat face-first!!
NC:
Good, good! Now do that to the
OnnaTarashi!
AG:
Neil, they won’t face them until the finals…if they make it that far.
JW:
And Hammerhead is tagged in now…Triple X going for a ride…misses a
clothesline…short power bomb by Hammerhead! What impact!! He covers…1…2...and the Kid makes the save!
AG:
That was close!
JW: Hammerhead with a double axe handle smash on
Triple X…setting him up for the Shark Bite [frontface gutwrench], it looks
like…he picks him up…Triple X wiggles out of it!
NC: Turn around!
JW: Triple X with a hurricanrana! He’s back in it! He goes over to his corner…and tags in his partner!
(Kisara
looks up at the ring and grins slightly.)
NC:
Looks like Kisara’s liking this!
JW:
And the Kid dropkicks Hammerhead…and one for Thresher on the apron! And another on Hammerhead! He’s going for the ride now…superkick by the
Kid!
(The
Kid signals for his finisher via the thumb across the throat, causing a huge
face pop.)
AG:
Looks like the end is near…
NC:
No! Kisara, do something!
JW:
The Kid on the top now…Nightfall!! (skytwister press) What a move!! And this
match is over!!
AG: Like I said, they don’t call him a human
highlight reel for nothing!
DING,
DING, DING!!
(“Come
Out and Play” starts up again.)
Ring
Announcer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, THE NEW
BREED!!!
(The
referee raises the hands of the New Breed, who then roll out to the ring. Kisara is standing up now, applauding. The New Breed looks at her.)
NC:
And Kisara is applauding those pukes!
JW: Looks like they’re exchanging some words…
(Kisara
and the New Breed make their way backstage, exchanging some words.)
AG:
I think Kisara has some new friends.
NC:
I refuse to believe it! She will not associate with them!!
JW:
Well either way, the New Breed will advance to t he next round to face the
winners of the match between the Angels and the Forces of Nature, which will
happen later tonight. Let’s go
backstage, where I believe Monty Washington has caught up with Kerry Rush.
*-*-
(Backstage,
Monty Washington is standing next to Kerry Rush, who is still in civilian
clothes. Next to Kerry is Melissa, who
is on crutches.)
MW: Kerry, you and Melissa were brutally
attacked on last Fever. You have any
comments on that?
Kerry: Monty, I don’t care about what happened to
me on the last show. I don’t care if I
get beat down. It has happened before
in my career, and it will happen again.
You
see, it’s one thing to attack me…(Kerry turns to Melissa.) But it’s a whole
different thing to assault Melissa, my wife.
She was just an innocent bystander, Tanaka! You had no reason to hurt her!
Look at her! She’s gonna be in a
cast for the next month because of what you did! I know you may not care about her safety, but I do. And I know you’re in this building tonight,
Kenshiro Tanaka, so look out, because you’re gonna get rushed!
(Kerry
and Melissa leave.)
MW: Back to you, Justin.
*-*-*
JW: Strong words from Kerry Rush.
AG:
It sounds like he was calling Kenshiro Tanaka out, guys. Maybe we’ll see a match tonight?
NC: Tanaka will take him out before there even
is a match!
JW:
Well, we’ll keep track of what happens backstage in case Kerry ever does find
Kenshiro Tanaka. But now we’re ready
for our next match, which is part of the World Title Tournament.
(“Got
the Life” by Korn starts up.)
Ring
Announcer: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A
FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE PCW WORLD TITLE TOURNAMENT AND IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE
FALL! INTRODUCING FIRST, FROM PARTS
UNKNOWN, WEIGHING IN AT 240 POUNDS, STEEL EAGLE!!
(Fans
boo as Steel Eagle makes his way to the ring.
He has on a mask with an eagle on it and a pair of tights that match the
colors on the mask. Once he gets into the ring, he jumps onto a turnbuckle and
poses.)
AG: One of Prince Master’s lackeys here is in
action tonight.
NC:
He is not a lackey, Alexis. He’s a
talented wrestler!
AG:
Whatever, Neil.
(“Open
Your Heart” [from Sonic Adventure] starts up.)
Ring
Announcer: AND HIS OPPONENT, BEING ACCOMPANIED TO THE RING BY LAURA GRANT,
SETSUNA KATSURAGI, AND MINDY, FROM TOKYO, JAPAN, WEIGHING IN AT 235 POUNDS,
HERE IS THE NATURAL, SEITOU YOUSAI!!
(As
the music plays, the ladies come out first.
Laura comes out, dressed in a silver-colored business suit and a pair of
glasses. Setsuna, the largest of the
trio, is next, dressed in a silver tank top and a pair of tights the same
color. Mindy is last, which runs out in
a silver cheerleader outfit. She does a
cartwheel and then a split in the middle of the elevated aisle. The male fans
approve of this, of course. Seitou
comes out last, wearing silver tights and a t-shirt. They all make their way to the ring.)
NC:
Whoa…look at those women! Whoo hoo!
AG: This is gonna go on all match, isn’t it?
JW: Looks that way, Alyssa. Seitou Yousai sure has a wide assortment of
women with him at ringside.
NC:
He’s a natural, all right. He’s a
natural playboy!
(Seitou
takes off his shirt and tosses it into the crowd. The women go out to ringside.
Laura takes the chair Kisara was in earlier and sits on it. Setsuna just stands next to her, while Mindy
hops around like the hyperactive bimbo she is.)
NC:
If I don’t say anything during this match, it’ll be because I’m too busy
drooling over Mindy!
AG:
Just don’t get any on my papers, Neil.
DING,
DING, DING!!!
JW:
And this match is underway…lockup…and Yousai turns it into an armdrag takedown
to start off! Eagle back up again and
he is taken down again! And again!
AG: Three armdrags in a row.
NC:
Psh… anyone can do that!
(At
ringside, Laura and Setsuna applaud.
Mindy continues jumping up and down, her breasts bouncing all over.)
JW:
Looks like his women are enjoying it.
NC:
Sure, Justin. I know you’re looking at
Mindy right now, aren’t you?
JW:
Am not.
NC:
Don’t you wish your wife looked like that?
JW:
I’m happy with the way my wife looks now, thank you very much. And Eagle into the ropes…and he runs into a
kick to the midsection by Seitou Yousai, followed by another kick, and then a
back elbow by the Natural!
AG:
Seitou is doing an impressive job in is first match here in PCW!
NC:
Just wait, Alyssa, Steel Eagle’s gonna turn up the heat any minute!
JW:
Yousai into the ropes now…he slides under Eagle’s legs…back up now and Steel
Eagle got him with a gut shot. And a
vertical suplex by Steel Eagle!
NC:
See?
JW:
Eagle with a cover…and Yousai quickly kicks out! Eagle picks him up and sends him on a ride… he has Yousai…and an atomic drop by Steel
Eagle!
NC:
Well, guess Seitou won’t be having fun with his women tonight!
AG:
I don’t think their relationship is like that, Neil…
NC:
Yeah right, Alyssa. He probably gets it
from them every night! You’re just
jealous!
AG:
Whatever.
JW:
And a dropkick by Eagle sends Yousai to the outside.
(Mindy
runs over to Seitou to check on him.)
NC:
Looks like Yousai’s about to get some service…
JW:
And Seitou is back up…Eagle into the ropes…and he misses the baseball slide to
the outside. Yousai with a kick to the
midsection…whip into the guardrail…and Steel Eagle reverses it, sending Seitou
Yousai into the steel guardrailing!
(Setsuna
runs over to where the wrestlers are. Mindy runs back over to where Laura is
sitting.)
AG:
Setsuna’s coming over there now.
NC:
And Eagle doesn’t see him!
JW:
Katsuragi grabs Eagle from behind with a waistlock! Eagle with a elbow but she ducks out of the way!
NC:
Whoa!
JW:
Overhead belly-to-belly suplex by Setsuna Katusragi!! Impressive!
NC:
What a woman!
AG:
Put her in the women’s division and she’ll clean up!
JW:
And Yousai rolls him back into the ring…back in as well…Seitou now getting in a
few hits…he has him up now…and a neckbreaker by the Natural, Seitou
Yousai! There’s a cover…2 and Eagle
kicks out after the near fall!
AG:
Yousai clearly has the advantage now…
NC:
Just wait. Steel Eagle will kick his ass any minute now!
JW:
Yousai has a left hand blocked by Steel Eagle…and a kick to the midsection by
Eagle! And a kick to the side of Seitou’s face!
AG:
That had some impact!
JW:
And another to the other side of Yousai’s face! And a spinning heel kick to the
same side to knock him down!
NC:
I told ya!
(Yousai’s
women get into a huddle.)
JW:
And Yousai’s female trio is in a huddle now…
AG:
Looks like they’re planning something…
JW:
Eagle with a cover now…1…2…and Seitou kicks out!
(The
huddle breaks.)
NC:
They’re out the huddle now. Now I can see Mindy again.
AG:
Gah, Neil…
NC:
I warned you.
JW:
There’s a scoop slam by Steel Eagle…and now he’s going up top…450 splash by
Steel Eagle!! What a move!
AG:
Eagle is a former cruiserweight, and as you can see, he kept some of his moves
from that time.
JW:
He covers Yousai again..1…2…and Laura puts Yousai’s leg on the bottom rope!
(Laura
climbs onto the ring apron and talks to/distracts the referee.)
JW:
And now she’s having some words with the ref, while Eagle picks up Seitou again….and
Mindy’s now on the apron!
AG:
I think this is the plan they discussed in the huddle!
(Mindy
hops up and down repeatedly on the apron, getting Steel Eagle’s attention.)
NC:
Whoo! Look at Mindy go! Boingy boingy boingy boingy!
JW:
And she did get Eagle’s attention as he pushes Yousai to the side…
NC:
I think he’s hypnotized!
AG:
Gee, Neil, I thought you were rooting for Steel Eagle!
NC:
I was! Now I’m rooting for Mindy!
(Setsuna
climbs into the ring as Laura still has the ref distracted. Mindy then stops
jumping and kicks Steel Eagle in the groin.)
JW:
Sweet groin music by Mindy!! It was all
a trick! And Steel Eagle fell for it!
AG:
Here comes Setsuna!
JW: She lifts Eagle up…JACK-KNIFE POWER BOMB BY
SETSUNA KATSURAGI!!! What power by that Amazon!!
(Setsuna
climbs out of the ring as both Mindy and Laura hops back onto the floor. Seitou
climbs to the top rope.)
NC: Aww…I wanted to see her bounce some more!
JW:
Natural Frog Splash by Seitou Yousai…there’s the cover…and he gets the win!
DING,
DING, DING!!
(“Open
Your Heart” starts up again to a huge face pop.)
Ring
Announcer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, SEITOU YOUSAI!!!
(The
trio gets into the ring to celebrate the victory. Mindy jumps onto Seitou instantly and kisses his cheek.)
NC:
Lucky bastard.
JW:
And Seitou Yousai will advance to the next round, where he will face the winner
between the Beast and Sychotic!
AG: He may have had it easy in this match, but
whomever he’ll face in the next round he’ll have a hard time with.
*-*-*
(Cut
to the backstage area as we see a door open.
On it has a placard that reads “New Breed Dressing Room”. Kisara Velaquez, sans glasses, walks out of
there and closes the door. She reaches
down and adjusts her skirt, then walks away with a slight grin on her face.)
AG:
Kisara’s leaving the New Breed’s room.
JW:
I saw her walk backstage with them, but I didn’t think she’d go into their room
with them!
NC:
Maybe Kisara has the hots for them?
AG:
I don’t think she did what perverts like Neil here think she did…
NC:
Yeah—HEY!!
JW:
Well, if she’s trying to piss her brother off, she’s doing a good job of it!
(The
camera keeps following Kisara, who runs into Kerry Rush.)
Kerry:
Kisara, have you seen Kenshiro Tanaka around here?
Kisara:
Nope.
Kerry:
(blinking at the room she just left) What were you doing in there?
Kisara:
Taking care of business. (she winks at Kerry and then walks off)
NC:
Taking care of business?! I knew it!
JW:
Maybe she has an alliance with the New Breed now?
NC:
She’s just in it for the sex! She probably heard things about Triple X!
AG:
Oh shut up, Neil.
NC:
It could be true!
JW:
Let’s go back to the ring for our next match.
(Sounds
of maniacal laughter are heard around the arena.)
RING
ANNOUNCER: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL AND IS A FIRST ROUND
MATCH IN THE PCW WORLD TITLE TOURNAMENT!!
INTRODUCING FIRST, FROM PORTLAND, MAINE…WEIGHING IN AT 255 POUNDS…
TRICKSTER!!!
(Trickster
makes his way to the ring in a multi-colored singlet.)
JW:
Another one of Prince Master’s lackeys in the tournament is this guy.
NC:
He is NOT a lackey! He is a legitimate
contender for the title!
AG:
As we have seen, the other two lackeys have not done so well in the
tournament. We saw Taurus get
eliminated last time on Fever and we saw just recently Steel Eagle lose to
Seitou Yousai.
(A
series of freight train noises blast through the PA, getting a pop from the
crowd.)
Ring
Announcer: AND HIS OPPONENT, FROM CHICAGO, ILLINOIS AND WEIGHING 310 POUNDS…
FREIGHT TRAIN!!!
(The
massive Freight Train makes his way to the ring, clad in a charcoal black
outfit similar to that of Diesel/Kevin Nash’s.)
AG:
Considering Freight Train’s size advantage, I’d say he’s the favorite in this
match.
JW:
Well, he is one of PCW’s biggest wrestlers, at 6’11”, 310 lbs.—and Trickster
nails the Train from behind!!
DING,
DING, DING!!
AG:
Looks like he wants to get the advantage early.
JW:
And he’s doing a good job of it as he picks up Freight Train in a belly-to-back
suplex!! He suplexed the big guy!
NC:
He’s one of the best in the game at suplexes… Trickster is to suplexes as Diego
David Tarquez is to DDT’s!
JW: I’d say that’s about accurate as the Tricky
one sends Freight Train into the ropes… he grabs him…
T-Bone
suplex by Trickster!! Impressive!!
NC:
I vote from now on that we call his suplexes “Trickplexes!!”
AG:
That’s not happening.
JW:
And Trickster doesn’t bother going for a cover as he whips the Train into the
ropes again…he’s going for a belly-to-belly…and a vicious knee to the
midsection by Freight Train!!
NC:
Ouch.
JW:
Freight Train now lifting Trickster high into the air! Gorilla Press…there he
goes…and gutbuster by Freight Train!!
AG: I think that may have put out Trickster’s
fire!
JW:
The Tricky One going for the ride now…and a big boot by Freight Train!
NC:
BOOT TO THE HEAD!!
AG:
Eh?
NC:
I always wanted to say that!
(Freight
Train signals for his finisher by pumping his arm up and down.)
JW:
Looks like this may be it for Trickster as Freight Train sets him up for the
Train Derail [Jack-knife power bomb]…and he does! That’s the end of the Tricky
One as Freight Train makes the easy cover!
DING,
DING, DING!!
Ring
Announcer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…. FREIGHT TRAIN!!!
NC:
Trickster got his ass whooped.
Pathetic—
JW:
What’s this?!
(Camera
shifts over to the aisle, where Prince Master and his other two lackeys is
standing. The crowd boos loudly as
Master takes a microphone.)
JW:
What’s he doing here?!
AG:
I think he has something to say.
P.
Master: Congratulations on your victory, Mr. Train! Smashing performance. I would
applaud, but someone of my nature does not do such common, plebian things.
(The
crowd boos louder as Master pauses and glares at the crowd, while Trickster
makes his way over to the trio in the aisle.
Freight Train stays in the ring and listens.)
P.
Master: You see, Mr. Freight, I know I was not scheduled to be here tonight,
and I was glad, because I did not want to be around these filthy, dirty, poor,
wretched, rancid losers here in this nobody town of Portland, Oregon…
(The
fans boo louder.)
NC:
Trash their basketball team too, Master!!
AG:
Don’t encourage him, Neil.
P.
Master: But I came here anyways because I had a little business to take care
of. As we all saw on last Fever, the
trio you low-lifes so affectionately call my “lackeys” did not do too good of a
job in their tournament matches and in what I tell them to do.
JW:
But they helped him advance to the next round of the tournament! How can he say
that?!
P.
Master: You can say that these three
members of The Sinister Monarchy are a bit… incompetent. But no, no, I am not
getting rid of them. I just want to
expand my forces a little. And after
seeing how well you handled my little suplex machine just now, Big Daddy, I,
Prince Master, want you to join the most elite group in Premiere Championship
Wrestling, the Sinister Monarchy.
AG:
Whoa!
JW:
He wants Freight Train in the Monarchy!
NC:
Take the offer! I hear there are lots of benefits!
JW:
What benefits?
(Freight
Train grabs a mic.)
F.
Train: Prince, are you saying you want me to join your little band of
lackeys? You really think I’m Master’s
lackey material?
(Prince
Master nods in the aisle and says some words that are in audible since he’s not
talking through the mic.)
F.
Train: Well, I really think I should be
honored to get such a great opportunity to join your little stable, Prince, but
the truth is that this Train is nowhere near honored! You can take your little offer and shove it up your ass!!
(The
crowd cheers wildly. Prince Master gets a little angry.)
P.
Master: Poor, poor Trainy, you had so much potential. You disappointed me. And because of that, you will have to be
punished for not joining me. Get him,
boys!
(Trickster,
Steel Eagle, and Taurus run into the ring to attack Freight Train.)
JW:
He’s sending in the lackeys!!
NC:
They are not lackeys, Justin!
JW:
And he’s making easy work of them!
AG:
And now it looks like Master wants some too!
(Prince
Master enters the ring now and nails Freight Train in the back with a chair!)
NC:
Yeah! That’s how you do it!
JW:
Vicious chair shot by Master…but it did nothing!! And Master gets a big boot to the head!! The Train has just taken
out all of the Sinister Monarchy!
AG:
He’s not done yet either!!
JW:
He’s now setting Prince Master up for the Train Derail…he’s up…
(Freight
Train power bombs Prince Master over the top rope and into a table set up at
ringside! The crowd goes wild.)
JW:
MASTER JUST WENT THROUGH A TABLE!!! MY GOD!!!
NC:
That fiend! You can’t treat royalty like that!!
AG:
Well he just did, Neil!
(Freight
Train then leaves the ring and heads backstage.)
JW:
I think everyone wanted to see that happen to Prince Master sooner or
later! And who would think that it
would happen on our second show?
NC:
Master’s gonna get his revenge next week.
Just watch!
*-*-*
(Backstage,
“Extreme” Eddie Michels is walking through the halls, his personalized steel
chair in his possession.)
JW:
Looks like Michels is here tonight for some revenge as well for what happened
on the first show.
NC: He’s gonna need that chair if he wants to
take someone like The Beast out!
(Michels
sees Kenshiro Tanaka and stops him briefly.
Tanaka glares at him coldly.)
E.
Michels: Say, kid, have you seen The Beast around here?
Tanaka:
…
Michels: Well, have you?
Tanaka:
…
Michels:
You’re no help…
(Michels
walks away. Kenshiro threatens to hit
him with the kendo stick from behind, but doesn’t.)
*-*-*
NC:
I LIKE that guy!! Silent, but violent!
JW:
Kenshiro is off tonight as well, and he’s here.
AG:
And I bet he knows that Kerry’s looking for him.
(“Moonlight
Densetsu” by DALI starts up.)
JW:
And it looks like we’re ready for our next match, which is in the Women’s
Tournament.
AG: (sings to the song) Gomen ne sunao ja nakute…Yume no naka nara ieru…Shikou
kairu wa SHOOTO sunzen… Ima sugu aitai yo…
NC:
Fangirl.
AG:
Hey! I just like the song!
(Sakura
“Sailor X” Kazeno makes her way to the ring, wearing a silver and blue sailor
fuku.)
Ring
Announcer: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE PCW WOMEN’S
TITLE TOURNAMENT AND IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!!! INTRODUCING FIRST…MAKING HER WAY TO THE RING… FROM TOKYO, JAPAN,
HERE IS SAKURA “SAILOR X” KAZENO!!!
(Sakura
poses all Sailor Moon-like.)
NC:
And now for the drooling Sailor fanboys out there…
JW:
Neil…
AG: (still singing)…onaji kuni ni umareta no MIRAKURU ROMANSU!
NC: Seriously, Justin, I heard that the greater power
is a Moonie!
JW: A what?
Female Voice on PA: OHHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!
AG: What the hell?
(As the laughter subsides, No Doubt’s “Just a Girl”
starts up.)
Ring Announcer: AND HER OPPONENT…BEING ACCOMPANIED TO
THE RING BY MR. BUTLER…FROM ASHEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA, “THE RICH BTICH”
JENNIFER VANDERFELLER!!!
(Mr. Butler, who actually is one, steps out
first. He walks toward the ring
slowly. Vanderfeller comes out next,
wearing a school outfit (similar to the one B-ko wears in “Project A-ko”). She poses, does her psycho bitch laugh, and
makes her way to the ring.)
NC: Now this is a girl I can like!
AG: You do know she’s like ten years younger than you,
right?
NC: So?
JW: Jennifer Vanderfeller is surely the youngest
competitor here in the women’s division, let alone the PCW.
AG: Well, the Kid’s 19 as well, so she’s probably not
the youngest.
(Vanderfeller takes off her outfit [which was all one
piece] and tosses it aside, revealing her wrestling attire, which is a full
bodysuit. Sakura still has her fuku on.)
DING, DING, DING!!
JW: Looks like we’re ready to start this match as the
bell has just rung. Vanderfeller going
in after Kazeno…and she trips her up!
NC: Catfight!!
Whoo hoo!!!!
JW: It
certainly looks that way as the two women roll around the ring!
AG: I’d expect this from other PCW women such as say…
Mindy, but not from anyone in the women’s division!
JW: And Kazeno finally kicks Jennifer away. Well, Vanderfeller is in a wrestling ring
for the first time, so would you expect this from her?
AG: You have a point.
JW: Speaking of which, Vanderfeller with a textbook
armdrag takedown!!
NC: Nice, but my 5-year-old niece can do one of those
too!
JW: Jenny
whipping Sailor X into the ropes…kick to the midsection…and a bulldog by
Jennifer Vanderfeller!! There’s a
cover…and Kazeno gets a shoulder up!
AG: She’s doing and impressive job for someone who has
little experience in the ring.
JW: I know!
She must have been well-trained…Vanderfeller going for another kick but
Sakura grabs the leg…dragon screw legwhip into a leglock submission by Sakura
Kazeno! But it was too close to the ropes!
AG: What a
shame. Had that been in the middle of the ring, Sakura could have done real
damage to that leg.
JW:
Vanderfeller whipped into the ropes now…and she’s stopped with a
knife-edge chop from Sailor X!
Crowd: WHOO!!!
JW: And
another!
Crowd: WHOO!!!
JW: Sailor X with a flying side kick and Jenny ducks
under it…running lariat by Sailor X…
NC: It’s the resthold of doom!!
JW: Neil! Vanderfeller with a sleeper on Sakura
Kazeno, who’s trying to fight her way out of it…Sailor X has Vanderfeller’s
head…and she drops her with a jawbreaker!!
AG: Well, that’s one way to break the hold.
NC: Poor Jennifer…now she’s gonna have to see her
dentist after the show.
JW: Vanderfeller struggling to get up…Kazeno into the
ropes…spinning DDT by Sailor X!! She
covers…2…and Vanderfeller gets a shoulder up.
AG: Close but no cigar!
JW: Sailor X picks her up for a vertical suplex
now…Vanderfeller breaks out of it!
Kidney punch by her…CHECK BOUNCER!!! [Inverted DDT] THAT COULD DO IT!!
NC: She beat the moonie!!
JW: Vanderfeller with a cover…1…2…
(Jennifer lifts up Sailor X’s head and shoulder before
the ref counts three.)
AG: The hell?
JW: She lifted up her head before the three count!!
Why?
AG: She’s being a bit cocky now…
(Vanderfeller lifts up Sailor X again, in preparation
for another Check Bouncer. She does her
psycho bitch laugh first. The fans
begin to boo.)
Jenny: OHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!
NC: I love that laugh!!
JW: Another
Check Bouncer by Vandefeller!! She
covers again…1…2…
(Vanderfeller lifts Sailor’s X’s head again before the
three count.)
JW: She did it again!!
AG: Okay, now this is too much!!
JW: And a THIRD Check Bouncer by Jennifer Vanderfeller
on Sailor X…1….2….and this match is finally over!!
DING, DING, DING!!!
(Fans boo as “Just a Girl” starts up again.)
Ring Announcer:
HERE IS YOUR WINNER… JENNIFER VANDERFELLER!!!
(Vanderfeller poses in the ring and does her bitch
laugh again. The crowd behind to cheer
and Julie Hunter runs into the ring with a steel chair. Jenny’s facing the other way, so doesn’t see
her.)
JW: IT’S JULIE HUNTER!!
NC: LOOK OUT, JENNY!!
<THWACK!!>
(Julie nails Jennifer Vanderfeller in the back with
the chair, knocking her clean out! Huge
face pop.)
AG: What a chair shot by Julie Hunter!!
NC: Aww…and now she needs to see her chiropractor too!
(Julie climbs out of the ring and heads back into the
crowd.)
JW: And Jennifer is still out in the middle of the
ring. She’ll advance to the next round
and will face the woman who just chaired her, Julie Hunter, in the semifinals
in two weeks.
*-*-*
(Backstage, Chris Lee Johnson is leading The Beast and
Da Big Guy to the ring area. Suddenly,
DBG stops and sniffs the air.)
DBG: Pizza…
CLJ: What?
DBG: I’ll be
right back, Mr. Johnson!
CLJ: What?
(sniffs the air) Boy, we don’t have time to eat!! We have a match to go to!
DBG: I’ll be there in a minute!
CLJ: Guh…
NC: Just like him to be distracted by food…
(Chris Lee Johnson and the Beast go on towards ring,
while DBG heads in another direction, the camera following him. He eventually enters a room where there are
several boxes of pizza. Then…the door
quickly slams shut!)
JW: What the--?!
(“Extreme” Eddie Michels, locks the door from the
outside, and then uses a chair to put under the handle. He laughs and runs away.)
Michels: Sucker!!
NC: It was all a trick!!
AG: Smart move by Eddie Michels! Take out one of the guys so your plans won’t
be interfered with!
NC: Da Big Guy weighs like 575 pounds! I doubt that door will hold him in!
(Cut to another area backstage where Kisara Velaquez
is still walking around. She’s still in
her little outfit and she has a can of some soda of a brand withheld because
the greater power doesn’t want product placement J.)
*-*-*
NC: Now what is that little hussy up to?
AG: Neil, she is NOT a hussy!
NC: She won’t go out with me, therefore, she’s a
hussy!
JW: Well, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Kisara
Velaquez for the night, fans. But for now, it’s time to go back to the World
Title Tournament!
(“Fuel My Fire” by Prodigy starts up; the crowd boos.)
Ring Announcer: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS PART OF THE
PCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT AND IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!!
(The Beast makes his way to the ring, making menacing
glares at the fans that boo him on his way.
Chris Lee Johnson walks behind him, wearing his business suit and
carrying his cane.)
Ring Announcer: INTRODUCING AT THIS TIME, BEING
ACCOMPANIED TO THE RING BY CHRIS LEE JOHNSON…FROM PARTS UNKNOWN, WEIGHING IN AT
310 POUNDS… THE BEAST!!!
(The Beast raises both of his hands in the air.)
NC: I don’t
understand why they boo this guy! He
put the extreme idiot through a table last week!
AG: Well, Neil, maybe the fans don’t like him. That’s just my opinion.
(“Plowed” by Sponge starts up. And the drums and the heavy guitar music
kicks in, pyrotechnics go off at the entrance and “Sychotic” Cedric Fuller
makes his way to the ring, wearing a pair of army pants and a sleeveless
jacket.)
Ring Announcer:
AND HIS OPPONENT, FROM BOULDER, COLORADO… WEIGHING IN AT 310 POUNDS,
HERE IS “SYCHOTIC” CEDRIC FULLER!!!
JW: Here comes the massive Cedric Fuller, or as many
people call him, Sychotic.
AG: And that’s without a “P”, Justin.
JW: Thank you, Alyssa.
(Both men stare at each other in the ring. CL Johnson goes out of the ring.)
DING, DING, DING!
(The two lock up in the middle of the ring.)
NC: You know, I heard that The Beast and Steel Eagle
were next-door neighbors as kids.
JW: What?
NC: You didn’t know?
They both lived in Parts Unknown!
AG: Very funny.
(Sychotic runs into the ropes and gets nailed with a
shoulderblock from the Beast.)
NC: It’s true!
AG: Sure, Neil.
NC: Yeah, and The Angels of Destruction live near them
as well!
JW: Anyway, the Beast with another shoulderblock on
Fuller, but he hasn’t been able to topple the big man yet…both men into the
ropes now…and a flying shoulderblock by the Beast takes them both down!
AG: Well there is no significant weight advantage
here; both of them weigh around 310 pounds.
However, Cedric Fuller is 7 feet tall, which gives him a height
advantage.
JW: And Sychotic’s up first and whips The Beast into
the corner…here he comes…running elbow smash in the corner by Fuller!
*-*-*
(Backstage, we see the door that Da Big Guy went
through a few minutes ago. Sounds of loud banging are heard.)
*-*-*
AG: And it looks like Da Big Guy can’t get out!
NC: Guess he finished his meal.
JW: Back in the ring, Cedric Fuller with a side suplex
on the Beast…there’s a cover! 1…2…and he gets the shoulder up!
(Fans stand up and cheer as “Extreme” Eddie Michels
walks down the aisle, carrying his steel chair.)
AG: Looks like business is about to pick up!
JW: Michels is here at ringside and Johnson just
noticed it!
NC: And Da Big Guy is still trapped in that room!
*-*-*
(Cut backstage we see that the door looks like someone
busted through it…someone HUGE.)
*-*-*
AG: No he’s not!
NC: Told ya it wouldn’t hold him in!
JW: And in the ring, The Beast nails Sychotic with a
big dropkick! He has him up again…Fuller going for the ride…and a backdrop by
the Beast! And then an elbowdrop! Cover by the Beast…1…2…and Cedric Fuller
kicks out!
NC: Here he comes!!
(Da Big Guy runs down the elevated aisle. Michels stands up, chair in hand, to
confront him, but a running lariat lays him out!)
AG: And he just took out Michels!
JW: DDT by the
Beast on Cedric Fuller! There’s another
cover…2…thr-NO!! Sychotic got the shoulder up in time! Beast picks Fuller up… he’s into the
ropes…spear by—NO!!
AG: My goodness! He blocked the spear!
JW: Yeah, Fuller blocked that vicious spear that drove
Eddie Michels through a table last week! And Sychotic picks him up…POWER BOMB!!
That could do it!!! Sychotic may advance…2…
(Chris Lee Johnson pulls the referee out of the
ring. Da Big Guy grabs Michels’ chair
and waits for him to get up. DBG’s back
is facing the ring.)
JW: And Johnson stops the three count!!
NC: Smart move! No wonder he calls himself the best
damn manager in PCW!
AG: Considering we’ve only seen one manager here in
PCW.
NC: What about Melissa Rush?
AG: She’s a valet!
NC: What’s the difference?
JW: Guys, chill out!
The Beast is back up now…and Michels is struggling to get up on the
outside after almost being blindsided!
Fuller whips him into the ropes…there’s a reversal…and another…
<THWACK!!!>
(Da Big Guy winds up to nail Eddie Michels with the
chair, but accidentally hits The Beast as he comes towards the ropes!)
JW: HE ACCIDENTALLY NAILED THE BEAST WITH THE CHAIR!!
MY GOD!!
NC: What a screw-up by Da Big Guy!!
JW: SPIN DRIVER!! FULLER WITH THE SYCHOTIC SPIN
DRIVER!!! [Spinning tombstone piledriver, aka That’s Incredible] He covers…the
ref’s back in…1… 2…3!!! It’s over!!!
DING, DING, DING!!!
(Fans cheer as “Plowed” plays again. Meanwhile, Eddie Michels runs backstage,
away from the crime scene.)
Ring Announcer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, SYCHOTIC CEDRIC
FULLER!!!
NC: Thanks to Da Big Idiot!! He’s gonna have a LOT of explaining to do when they get to the
locker rooms!
AG: Impressive match by the Beast, but it’s a shame he
got screwed out of the tournament by an accident!
NC: No! It’s not DBG’s fault! It’s Eddie Michels’ fault! He had this
orchestrated!! From the pizza trap to bringing the chair to the ring! He timed his getting up so that DBG would
try to hit him as soon as the Beast was going into the ropes!! It’s a
conspiracy, my fellow commentators! I’m
onto Michels now!! I’M ON HIM!!!
JW: Whatever you say, Neil. Well, with Cedric Fuller advancing to the next round, that means
one more spot remains in the quarterfinal round. From what we have so far, Kerry Rush has a bye, which means he
will be in the semi-finals that will take place at the pay-per-view. Next week on this very show, we will have
the three quarterfinal matches, which include Prince Master vs. The Journeyman,
Seitou Yousai vs. Sychotic Cedric Fuller, and Freight Train, who won his match
earlier, will face the winner of the Timberwolf--Akeem X match that happens
later tonight.
AG: Guys, I’ve just gotten word that something’s
happening backstage. Can we get back
there, please?
*-*-*
(Scene shifts to an open dressing room. All that is seen is what can be seen from
the doorway. The room seems to have
been trashed.)
JW: Oh my god…what happened?
(Suddenly, Kenshiro Tanaka walks out of the room and
slams the door behind him.)
AG: Not him again…
NC: Da man!!
JW: This does not look good…
(He glares coldly at the camera and then walks
away. The camera pans back over to the
door showing the placard of the door to read “Dressing Room of Kerry and
Melissa Rush.”)
JW: Oh no! That was the Rushes’ dressing room!!
AG: God, I hope Melissa wasn’t in there…
NC: And Kerry was roaming around the arena, looking
for Tanaka! He doesn’t even know this has happened! What an idiot! He left his injured wife unprotected to go find
her assailant!
JW: And from the looks of it, she probably was
attacked again! That cold, deviant
assassin, Kenshiro Tanaka, has struck again, it seems!
*-*-*
(Cut to another area backstage where The Angels of
Destruction, Sachiel and Bardiel, are making their way to the ring. In front of them walks their manager,
Tabris.)
NC: Look! It’s the Evangelion fanboys! I’m really
beginning to think that the greater power is an anime nut!
JW: Neil!
Tabris: Come, my fellow angels! Let’s show these
humans the power we have!!
(As the AoD walk away from the camera, Tabris begins
to hum “Ode to Joy”)
*-*-*
AG: “Humans”? What does that make them?
JW: I have not a clue.
(“Dahlia” by X-Japan starts up.)
JW: And it looks like we’re ready for the final match
in the quarterfinals of the tag team tournament, which is between the Forces of
Nature, who are about to come out now, and the Angels of Destruction.
(The Forces of Nature, Hurricane and Typhoon, make
their way to the ring. Both are wearing black singlets. However, Hurricane’s singlet is
full-legged. Both have a picture of a
tropical cyclone on their outfits.)
Ring Announcer: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS PART OF THE
PCW TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT AND IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!! INTRODUCING FIRST, FROM ORLANDO, FLORIDA… AT
A TOTAL COMBINED WEIGHT OF 545 POUNDS…HURRICANE AND TYPHOON, THE FORCES OF
NATURE!!!
AG: Here comes the official power team of PCW…
NC: Power team?
AG: Yeah, every promotion has to have a team of
high-flyers, a team of narcissistic pretty boys, and a team that relies on
strength more than finesse.
NC: Is that really a rule?
AG: No, I just made that up.
(The Angel Attack music from “Neon Genesis Evangelion”
starts up; the crowd boos.)
Ring Announcer: AND THEIR OPPONENTS…BEING ACCOMPANIED
TO THE RING BY TABRIS, FROM PARTS UNKNOWN, AT A TOTAL COMBINED WEIGHT OF 530
POUNDS… SACHIEL AND BARDIEL… HERE ARE THE ANGELS OF DESTRUCTION!!!
(The AoD make their way down the elevated aisle. Sachiel, the smaller of the two, wears a
mask and tight pants. Bardiel, the
larger member, wears an outfit similar to Sting’s, sans the scorpions and all. Tabris lead the way, still humming “Ode to
Joy.” However, no one hears it due to
the loud cheering and booing. Suddenly,
Sachiel runs out in front and leaps, flying over the top rope and nailing the
FoN with clotheslines!)
JW: Here comes the Angels—and Sachiel got both of them
with flying clotheslines!
DING, DING, DING!!
(Sachiel gets up and begins working on Hurricane,
stomping on him. Bardiel enters the
ring and attacks Typhoon.)
JW: We seem to be underway here, but we’re staring off
with a melee!
NC: Just how I like it, Justin!
JW: And the referee’s trying to get some sense of
order around here…and he’s telling the two larger guys to break it up and head
for their corners. Meanwhile, Sachiel
has Hurricane up…and a bodyslam by Sachiel!
(Fans cheer wildly as Kisara Velaquez once again
saunters down the aisle. She has her glasses on now and is carrying the steel
chair and the clipboard.)
NC: Looks like she’s come back for some more! She must have gotten tired of those lame New
Breed guys!
AG: Well, I
think it’s safe to assume that Kisara is up to something, and it may not be good
for Tamahori.
JW: Bardiel
now tagged in for the AoD…Sachiel whips Hurricane into the ropes…back body drop
by Sachiel…Bardiel caught him…this could be a power-NO!! Frankensteiner by
Hurricane!!
AG: Smart counter there.
JW: Hurricane with the cover…and Bardiel quickly kicks
out
(Kisara unfolds the chair and sits down on it,
watching the match.)
JW: Hurricane
getting a few right hands in now on Bardiel…he’s going for the ride…Bardiel
ducks under the lariat attempt…coming back again and connects with a lariat of
his own! The AoD makes another tag… Sachiel going up top now… Bardiel whips
Hurricane towards the corner and Sachiel nails him with a missile dropkick!!
AG: The Angels are showing great teamwork in this
match.
NC: I see a great tag team out on that aisle!
JW: Neil!
NC: What?
JW: Hurricane finally makes the tag to his partner,
Typhoon…and Sachiel over there quickly with a kick to the midsection…hooks him
up for a suplex…Typhoon reverse with one of his own…vertical faceslam by
Typhoon!
NC: That move has to hurt since he’s wearing that
mask!
JW: Typhoon into the ropes now and connects with a
legdrop! There’s a cover…2…and Sachiel gets a shoulder up! Sachiel into the ropes now…and Typhoon lifts
him high in the air!
AG: Typhoon’s really powerful…a 6’6”, 290-lb.
Powerhouse!
NC: Falling in love with him, Alyssa?
AG: Shut up.
JW: And Typhoon tosses him over top rope!
NC: Gah! Is that legal?!
JW: Well the ref’s allowing it, so it must be…anyway,
Typhoon on the outside now…Sachiel slowly getting up…boot to the face by
Typhoon…he lifts the smaller Angel up…he’s heading the ringpost…and Sachiel
slips out! Dropkick by Sachiel and
Typhoon hits the post!
(Kisara slightly applauds in her seat.)
AG: Sachiel is one of the best wrestlers when it comes
to breaking and reversing moves and holds.
NC: Sure, I bet he was an Olympic gold medallist too.
AG: No, he wasn’t. Actually, I don’t know much about
his background.
NC: He’s an angel, Alyssa; therefore he’s from heaven!
JW: Well, this angel seems to be at an advantage now
as he rolls back into the ring, waiting for Typhoon to get back up…he’s going
into the ropes…and Hurricane grabs him by the hair and brings him down! And the
ref’s over there now, warning him about that! Typhoon’s back in the ring…he has
Sachiel up…this may be what he calls The Surge (crucifix powerbomb)…here he
goes…
(Sachiel wiggles his way out and rolls it into a pin!)
JW: Sachiel turns it into a rollup!! 1…2….thr-no!!
Typhoon kicked out in time!!
AG: Another great reversal by Sachiel!
JW: And Typhoon nails him with a clothesline as soon
as he got back up! Cover…2…and Bardiel with the save! Typhoon tags Hurricane back in…
(Tabris jumps onto the apron, trying to distract the
ref.)
JW: It looks like they want to end this now…Sachiel
whipped into the ropes…the Forces of Nature have him…this may be Force Five
(Double Rock Bottom.)! Bardiel into the
ropes…and a double clothesline on both members of the FoN!
AG: And the ref didn’t see it at all!
(The ref turns around, but Tabris grabs his head and
drops him neck first on the tope rope, knocking the referee out.)
JW: And Tabris just took out the referee!!
NC: Call a DQ!!
JW: Now the Angels of Destruction have the advantage
and each have a man…Angel Bomb (belly-to-back suplex into a power bomb) by Sachiel
on Hurricane!! And Heaven’s Message (Rock Bottom) by Bardiel on Typhoon!! This
match is over, but there’s no ref!
AG: Tabris is
yelling at his men, telling to finish them off completely!
JW: And it looks like they’ll do just that as Bardiel
sets up Hurricane for what looks to be a power bomb…he’s up…Sachiel with a hold
on Hurricane’s neck…and down he goes!!
AG: We have just experienced Third Impact! [power
bomb-neckbreaker combination]
JW: And Bardiel lifts Hurricane up for a second power
bomb! Incredible!! Sachiel makes the
cover now and I really don’t think Hurricane’s gonna kick out! The ref’s coming to and he makes the three
count!
DING, DING, DING!!
(“Angel Attack” starts up again.)
Ring Announcer: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS, THE ANGELS OF
DESTRUCTION!!
(Kisara golf claps, then stands up and heads
backstage. The AoD remain in the ring
though as Tabris comes in to celebrate.)
JW: And the Angels will advance to the semifinals,
where they will face the New Breed—
(Tabris has a mic in the ring.)
Tabris: Well, well, well… the humans in this arena
seem to like us. How surprising.
AG: What the hell is he talking about?
Tabris: A pity that they’ll all be destroyed in a
matter a time by my angels and me!
(The crowd begins to boo.)
Tabris: It’s true, lilim! You see, we were sent here to PCW to destroy it! Tonight was just a demonstration of the
power we have! And in a few weeks, when
we destroy the New Breed, only one step remains between the tag team titles and
us! Once we get a hold of them, this
place will never be the same again!
(Tabris drops the mic and begins to hum “Ode to Joy”
as he walks out the ring, followed by the AoD.)
JW: …
AG: …
NC: What the bloody hell was that all about?
JW: I have not a clue…
*-*-*
(Cut to backstage as the AoD enters their dressing
room. They see Kisara sitting in a
chair in the middle of the room.)
Tabris: What are you doing in our room?
Kisara: I thought you’d never shut up out there. I’m here to talk… business.
(Kisara grins at the trio and Sachiel shuts the door.)
AG: She’s talking to the Angels now? But they face the
other team she talked to earlier in a few weeks!
JW: That’s right. She also talked to the New
Breed. What is going on here?
*-*-*
(In another part of the Rose Garden, Kerry Rush is walking
around.)
JW: And it looks like Kerry Rush is still out looking
for Kenshiro Tanaka.
NC: I bet he still doesn’t know what happened to
Melissa!
(Kerry kneels down as he has found something...)
AG: That looks like Tanaka’s kendo stick!!
NC: Keep it Kerry!
Use it as a weapon!
JW: It might be a clue or something…
NC: Dammit, Justin, this is pro wrestling, not a
mystery!
(Suddenly, Kenshiro Tanaka runs in and hits Kerry in
the back with some kind of sword. He is knocked down.)
JW: It’s Tanaka!! He has struck again!
NC: That’s a sword he hit him with! He could have
killed him!!
AG: It’s a sakaba!
NC: A what?!
(Tanaka hits Kerry again on the back, HARD, with the
sakaba.)
AG: A reverse blade.
He’s hitting him on the dull side, which is why he’s not drawing blood,
but knocking him senseless!
JW: Well, whatever it is, Rush is on the end of
another brutal assault! But we still
don’t have a clue as to WHY he’s doing it!
NC: Because he’s evil, Justin!
(Kenshiro, seeing that Kerry’s out, picks him up and
carries him off somewhere.)
JW: Now what he’s doing?!
NC: Just disposing of the trash, Justin!
JW: Neil!
Well, fans, we’ll keep track of this situations as it develops…but for
now, it’s time for our final match of the night. In the final first-round match in the PCW Heavyweight Title
Tournament, Akeem X takes on the massive Timberwolf!
*-*-*
(NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton” [the edited version,
even] starts up.)
Ring Announcer:
THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS THE FINAL FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE PCW WORLD
TITLE TOURNAMENT AND IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!!
NC: It’s the World Title, Heavyweight Title, or World
Heavyweight Title with that guy! Can he make up his mind?!
JW: Let it go, Neil.
(Akeem X makes his way to the ring, wearing black
jeans that have a white “X” on the right leg.)
Ring Announcer: …MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING, COMING
STRAIGHT OUT OF COMPTON, CALIFORNIA…WEIGHING IN AT 290 POUNDS…AKEEM X!!!
(Akeem stands on a turnbuckle and makes the Westside
symbol with both hands.)
NC: I think he missed what I said last show. I said that West Coast rap got whack!
JW: I guess he’s Westside until he dies, huh Neil?
NC: Justin, you are so white.
(A loud wolf’s howl comes out of the PA.)
NC: Run! It’s the Wolfpack!!
AG: Wrong promotion, Neil.
Ring Announcer:
AND HIS OPPONENT, HAILING FROM THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST, WEIGHING IN AT 480
POUNDS… HERE IS TIMBERWOLF!!!
(The massive Timberwolf makes his way down the
elevated aisle. He wears a pair of dark
blue tights. When he gets to the ring,
he steps over the top rope.)
NC: Damn, he’s huge.
AG: He sure is. 7’5” and 480 pounds… easily the
largest wrestler in PCW height-wise!
JW: And Akeem X is on him immediately!
DING, DING, DING!!
NC: This is
the third match that someone attacks before the bell!
AG: Well, if you’re up against someone as huge as
Timberwolf, an early advantage may be useful.
JW: But it doesn’t work as Timberwolf throws Akeem X
halfway across the ring! Wow!
NC: He threw him like he was nothing!
AG: He’s not giving up though! He’s on T-Wolf again!
JW: Akeem X with a series of rights and lefts…and
Timberwolf grabs him by the throat!! He
lifts him up in the air and tosses him across the ring again with a gorilla
press slam!! Those hits Akeem are using are doing nothing to the massive
Timberwolf!!
NC: (chanting) Noooo sell… nooooo sell!!
JW: Neil!!
NC: What?
JW: We can’t say that!
NC: Fine…(chants again) Goooold-berg! Goooold-berg!!!
JW: I give up…
AG: Justin, please can I smack him just once?
JW: No violence at the broadcast booth! Anyway, Akeem X with a double axehandle to
the back of Timberwolf…and another…whip into the ropes…dropkick by Akeem X!
NC: He’s staggering!
JW: And another dropkick by Akeem! He’s into the ropes now…big boot by
Timberwolf!!
NC: BOOT TO THE HEAD!!
JW: Are you gonna saw that every time someone does
that move?
NC: Just until it ceases to be funny!
JW: T-Wolf with a cover…2…and Akeem gets a shoulder
up! He’s not giving up yet.
NC: Even though the poor guy has no chance!
JW: There’s a
kick to the midsection by Akeem…he’s going to the top now…bulldog by Akeem
X!! Cover…1…2…BIG kick out by T-Wolf!!
AG: With authority!
JW: Yes, Alyssa…that too. Akeem X quickly back on
Timberwolf…he’s setting him up for something…he’s going for a piledriver!!
NC: If he does that to him, I’ll give him all the mad
props in the world, G!
JW: What?
NC: Nevermind.
JW: And Timberwolf turns it into a back body
drop! He’s still in control of this
match. Akeem’s back up again!
AG: He’s not one to stay down long!
JW: T-Wolf sending Akeem on the ride…reversal…Akeem has
T-Wolf… backbreaker! He managed to
briefly lift that giant!!
NC: Big deal!
It’s not like he body slammed him!
(Icepick walks down the elevated aisle to the ring.)
AG: What’s Icepick doing here?
JW: Akeem X going up top now…and he sees Icepick!
NC: Those two go way back! Both used to be members of the Westside Soldiers stable!
JW: Timberwolf is up again…he sees that Akeem is
distracted…and he has him by the throat!!
NC: This is not gonna be pretty!
JW: And Akeem X is chokeslammed off the top rope!! My
god!!
AG: He almost went through the ring with the impact!!!
JW: And Timberwolf makes the cover…1…2…3!!!
DING, DING DING!!!!
Ring Announcer: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, TIMBERWOLF!!!
JW: And Timberwolf takes the final quarterfinal spot
in the tournament for the World Title.
He may a big factor in he tournament now as we saw in that match!
(Icepick comes into the ring and begins to taunt at
Akeem X.)
AG: Looks like Icepick’s getting in a few extra words.
*-*-*
(Backstage in the Rush dressing room, Kerry is laying
on top a pile of something, still out of it.)
NC: Oh look! Kerry made it back to his room and is
resting! Everything’s okay!
JW: Oh stop it, Neil! We all saw what happened!
(Something begins to move under Kerry. After a few seconds of moving around, we see
Melissa Rush come too under her husband.)
Melissa: Guh…(looks up to see her husband)…Kerry?
Kerry?!
(She crawls out from under Kerry [which is kinda
difficult considering he’s twice her weight.] and tries to wake him.)
Melissa: Kerry?! Wake up!
(Suddenly, someone off-screen begins to laugh
maniacally. Melissa turns from Kerry
and looks at the door with a glare.)
AG: Who’s that laughing?!
JW: I--I don’t know! We can’t find out because we’re outta time!!
NC: Dammit! We are NOT outta time!!
JW: That’s what they’re telling me in the back!! For Alyssa Graham and Neil Coles, I’m Justin
Walker!! See you next week in Los Angeles!!
NC: What a
ripoff!!
SIGNED MATCHES FOR NEXT FEVER
Wade Philips vs. Pyrotechnico
Leah Storm vs. Tracy Burns
Timberwolf vs. Freight Train
Mad Boyz vs. The OnnaTarashi
Big Bad Mama vs. Dominique Natrix
Seitou Yousai vs, Sychotic Cedric Fuller
Angels vs. New Breed
Prince Master
vs. The Journeyman
Who was that man laughing at the end of the show?
Why is Kenshiro Tanaka bent on destroying Kerry Rush?
Why won’t he say a damn word?
What is Kisara up to? And what effect will this have
on Tamahori’s run at the tag team titles?
What is going on between Jennifer Vanderfeller and
Julie Hunter?
Will Neil get seasick if he watches Mindy’s boobs
bounce for too long?
These and more questions will be answered on the next
installment of PCW Fever!!!
Until then,
Seitou “Setsuna is a woman. Really.” Yousai
DISCLAIMER: ALL WRESTLERS ARE CREATIONS OF MINE. ANY SIMILARITIES TO OTHER CHARACTERS OR HUMAN BEINGS, BE THEY LIVING, DEAD, OR CREATED BY SOMEONE ELSE, IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
NO
HARM OR INSULT IS MEANT BY ANY JOKES MADE ON ANY SUBJECT IN THIS SHOW. IF SO,
THEN IT’S ALL NEIL COLES’ FAULT.